There are so many times in life when I don't do something simply because I don't want to be a bother.
I don't want to make a phone call because the other person might be in the middle of a TV show or a good book or some quality family time. I could ask for help finding something in a store, but I don't want to interrupt the other work the employee is doing. I get the urge to email a company when I find a typo on their website, but surely they have other things to do.
I'm not always like this. I will speak up when customer service is truly ghastly. I'll call to schedule an appointment because it needs to get done. Perhaps it's more often with people I know and whose opinion I value that I feel like they must be doing something more important than whatever I had in mind.
I've witnessed this trait in friends of mine at one time or another, too, so I know it's not just me. Is it a gender thing? In some cases women naturally put the needs of others ahead of their own. Is it a generation thing? Courtesy and common sense don't seem as prevalent these days. Or is it just a me-and-some-of-my-friends thing? Birds of a feather flock together, you know!
There comes a time, though, when you realize that it's OK to speak your mind. That doesn't give you a free pass to be rude or selfish, of course. But your thoughts, actions, and words matter, just like everyone else's! Doesn't a business want to know if there are areas that could use improvement? If you've purchased a product, you deserve to have the item deliver as promised. If your boss has assigned a task to you, surely it's better to make sure you have complete and correct information. It's not a bother if you are working toward performing better. If you want something in a relationship, ask for it! If your needs are a "bother," then perhaps discussing them together will bring more clarity and contentment. If you want to call, or even send a text, just to say hello or to send love and good wishes, how could anyone be bothered by that? Think about how you feel when someone reaches out to you. It feels good, doesn't it?
Yes, sometimes when you speak up, you may be bothering someone. But that's just a natural part of communication. Give and take. Compromise. Ask questions and listen for answers. Many smartphones have automatic text replies along the lines of, "Sorry, can't talk now. Call you back in a few minutes." Your friends will tell you, "I'm in the middle of something right now. Can I try you back later?" People can't read your mind. You won't know if you don't try!
So if your server brought you the wrong dish, be a bother and tell them. If the package arrived with the wrong order, be a bother and give the company a chance to correct it. If the medicine doesn't seem to be doing the job, be a bother and ask the doctor to try something else. If you want a loved one to know you're thinking about them, be a bother and give them a call. You'll both be glad you did...and no one will feel bothered.
Note: I've recognized these tendencies in myself before, even five years ago in this post. For a number of reasons, this subject is top-of-mind for me right now. Remember that if it comes from something genuine, it's not a bother. Say what's on your mind.
I don't want to make a phone call because the other person might be in the middle of a TV show or a good book or some quality family time. I could ask for help finding something in a store, but I don't want to interrupt the other work the employee is doing. I get the urge to email a company when I find a typo on their website, but surely they have other things to do.
I'm not always like this. I will speak up when customer service is truly ghastly. I'll call to schedule an appointment because it needs to get done. Perhaps it's more often with people I know and whose opinion I value that I feel like they must be doing something more important than whatever I had in mind.
I've witnessed this trait in friends of mine at one time or another, too, so I know it's not just me. Is it a gender thing? In some cases women naturally put the needs of others ahead of their own. Is it a generation thing? Courtesy and common sense don't seem as prevalent these days. Or is it just a me-and-some-of-my-friends thing? Birds of a feather flock together, you know!
There comes a time, though, when you realize that it's OK to speak your mind. That doesn't give you a free pass to be rude or selfish, of course. But your thoughts, actions, and words matter, just like everyone else's! Doesn't a business want to know if there are areas that could use improvement? If you've purchased a product, you deserve to have the item deliver as promised. If your boss has assigned a task to you, surely it's better to make sure you have complete and correct information. It's not a bother if you are working toward performing better. If you want something in a relationship, ask for it! If your needs are a "bother," then perhaps discussing them together will bring more clarity and contentment. If you want to call, or even send a text, just to say hello or to send love and good wishes, how could anyone be bothered by that? Think about how you feel when someone reaches out to you. It feels good, doesn't it?
Yes, sometimes when you speak up, you may be bothering someone. But that's just a natural part of communication. Give and take. Compromise. Ask questions and listen for answers. Many smartphones have automatic text replies along the lines of, "Sorry, can't talk now. Call you back in a few minutes." Your friends will tell you, "I'm in the middle of something right now. Can I try you back later?" People can't read your mind. You won't know if you don't try!
So if your server brought you the wrong dish, be a bother and tell them. If the package arrived with the wrong order, be a bother and give the company a chance to correct it. If the medicine doesn't seem to be doing the job, be a bother and ask the doctor to try something else. If you want a loved one to know you're thinking about them, be a bother and give them a call. You'll both be glad you did...and no one will feel bothered.
Note: I've recognized these tendencies in myself before, even five years ago in this post. For a number of reasons, this subject is top-of-mind for me right now. Remember that if it comes from something genuine, it's not a bother. Say what's on your mind.
No comments:
Post a Comment