Giving Thanks for Moments

I've been thinking all day about what to write today. It's a holiday, after all. And not just any holiday. It's a day that should include some reflection on everything for which we should be thankful. 

But it's difficult for me to put those thoughts into words sometimes without it sounding trite or corny. So, as usual, I look to previous posts for inspiration.

I've been thankful for the big things (2010) and for the obvious things (2012). I've been thankful for personal things (2013) and for things that make me happy (2014). I've even been grateful for a day set aside for gratitude (2011). 

So, where does that leave me for this year? Why don't I make notes for myself so I can list off any number of things from the past year that make me grateful? There weren't really any life-altering events that merit an entire post. I've come to realize that any year, or lifetime, is simply a collection of moments. 

There's a moment when...you get in the car for a trip with the girls.
There's a moment when...you share a hug.
...your phone rings.
...the lights go down and the performer comes onstage.
...someone posts a joke on your Facebook just for you.
...you reconnect with an old friend.
...you're successful at something new.
...your team wins.
...you finish a good book.
...you accomplish something that makes you proud.
...a firefly appears.
...you're given a surprise party.
...someone tells you you're loved.
...you find something you were sure was lost.

They aren't all good moments, of course.

There's a moment when...your phone rings.
...the lights go out.
...you lose a friend.
...you see someone in pain.
...you feel like you've failed.
...someone says hurtful words.
...you've caused someone pain.
...you realize something is gone for good.

All of these moments add up to my life up to this moment in time. We'd all rather have more good moments than bad. But that's a fantasy, the life of a fictional character. I can't pull a Pollyanna and find the "glad" in every situation. I can't remember every good thing that's ever happened for me. But I can savor those moments that made me smile. I can't remember details about each day in 1985, but I can reflect on the high points and treasure them. I can't change the past, nor can I predict the future. And I will never get to that future if I try to live in the past. But I can live in this moment and make the most of it.

I am thankful for all of the moments in my life. Each one should be treated as a gift, a privilege. Without each and every one of them, I wouldn't be...me.

Happy Thanksgiving, and may you enjoy many of your moments yet to come!

It's OK to Be a Bother

There are so many times in life when I don't do something simply because I don't want to be a bother.

I don't want to make a phone call because the other person might be in the middle of a TV show or a good book or some quality family time. I could ask for help finding something in a store, but I don't want to interrupt the other work the employee is doing. I get the urge to email a company when I find a typo on their website, but surely they have other things to do.

I'm not always like this. I will speak up when customer service is truly ghastly. I'll call to schedule an appointment because it needs to get done.  Perhaps it's more often with people I know and whose opinion I value that I feel like they must be doing something more important than whatever I had in mind.

I've witnessed this trait in friends of mine at one time or another, too, so I know it's not just me. Is it a gender thing? In some cases women naturally put the needs of others ahead of their own. Is it a generation thing? Courtesy and common sense don't seem as prevalent these days. Or is it just a me-and-some-of-my-friends thing? Birds of a feather flock together, you know!

There comes a time, though, when you realize that it's OK to speak your mind. That doesn't give you a free pass to be rude or selfish, of course. But your thoughts, actions, and words matter, just like everyone else's! Doesn't a business want to know if there are areas that could use improvement? If you've purchased a product, you deserve to have the item deliver as promised. If your boss has assigned a task to you, surely it's better to make sure you have complete and correct information. It's not a bother if you are working toward performing better. If you want something in a relationship, ask for it! If your needs are a "bother," then perhaps discussing them together will bring more clarity and contentment. If you want to call, or even send a text, just to say hello or to send love and good wishes, how could anyone be bothered by that? Think about how you feel when someone reaches out to you. It feels good, doesn't it? 

Yes, sometimes when you speak up, you may be bothering someone. But that's just a natural part of communication. Give and take. Compromise. Ask questions and listen for answers. Many smartphones have automatic text replies along the lines of, "Sorry, can't talk now. Call you back in a few minutes." Your friends will tell you, "I'm in the middle of something right now. Can I try you back later?" People can't read your mind. You won't know if you don't try!

So if your server brought you the wrong dish, be a bother and tell them. If the package arrived with the wrong order, be a bother and give the company a chance to correct it. If the medicine doesn't seem to be doing the job, be a bother and ask the doctor to try something else. If you want a loved one to know you're thinking about them, be a bother and give them a call. You'll both be glad you did...and no one will feel bothered.

Note: I've recognized these tendencies in myself before, even five years ago in this post. For a number of reasons, this subject is top-of-mind for me right now. Remember that if it comes from something genuine, it's not a bother. Say what's on your mind.

It's Hard to Stay Calm

When I'm really psyched I get inspired. I don't create great works of art to be enjoyed by generations. But I may write my own words to an existing song. And I haven't been this excited since I went to a David Cassidy show years ago. I attended that show with a best girlfriend, and we are soon going to a Craig Ferguson performance together. With such diverse tastes in common, it's no wonder we're friends.

With apologies to the actual theme song to The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, this is what I'm feeling right now.

It's hard to stay calm.

It's been a long, long wait.

And you've got the Scotsman comin' to town.

But hang on, get your tartan on

And let's do it anyway.

It's OK.

You can always sleep postshow tomorrow.

OK! Hey, hey!

Tomorrow's just your future yesterday.