It's Nice to be in a Village

I realize yesterday was Mother's Day. I already tossed out a few thoughts about The Stages of Motherhood. But with all things maternal so top-of-mind, I realized something else for which I am grateful at all those stages. Being a mom would be a lot more difficult without other moms.

Now, you may have your own feelings about the whole "it takes a village" approach to raising children. Personally, I can't see myself in any sort of commune situation where everyone is literally taking care of everyone else when it comes to daily needs. But having the support of other women, especially when I was a new mother, was invaluable.

Not surprisingly, my first resources to consult were my own family. But my mother, sister, and in-laws were all in a different city. And I already knew that some of their styles didn't really fit our personalities. Add to that the fact that I'm the baby of the family and our son is five years younger than the next oldest grandchild...not a huge generation gap, but enough. (I am eternally grateful, however, that they saved onesies and pajamas and such and passed them on to me!)

Better than any book or TV show were the women I worked with and those within my circle of friends. There were several who were at a similar stage in their life. We each occasionally had schmutz on our clothing or bags under our eyes. Which pediatrician do you like? Let's trade coupons for diapers! Yes, that first tooth is painful, isn't it.

And who else can feel your "pain" on that first day of kindergarten? Can you pick him up for school in the morning? That sounds like an awesome field trip! You're right; let the kids work it out for themselves. I'd love to come to your child's performance! What time is graduation rehearsal? 

Sharing information, giving advice (when asked), and talking things out with someone facing the same situations makes the whole process run a little more smoothly and, perhaps, even more fulfilling. It's one more thing to bring us all closer together. We look out for each other and for each other's kids. It's not about overstepping our bounds. It's about recognizing that we have the same basic goals and concerns.

We're no longer talking about the "pink stuff" for ear infections. We're talking about our children as adults, and our lives as mothers of adult children. But we're still talking. And we still know that being a mother would be a lot harder without the other mothers who have taken and are taking that similar journey.