I will say that especially over the last year or so, I've come to appreciate her so much more than I already did. Every time I have a new mom moment of my own, I gain a new understanding of what her perspective may have been when she had those same moments.
That also got me to thinking about how you never really stop being a mother once you've become one. About 19 years ago, motherhood for me was a lot of feeding and changing and soothing. Hard work, no matter how well you're prepared. But so much love and joy just to see those little toes and hear those giggles! Naturally I don't remember it, but Mom fed me and changed me and soothed me, too. I hope I had cute toes and made her smile with my giggles, too.
Especially in those early years, there are so many "firsts." Crawling, teeth, words, steps...those moments that only happen for the first time once. If you're smart, you count your blessings as you wonder if life could get any better than watching this little baby grow (too quickly) into a regular little person. Even though I'm the third child, I have no doubt that my milestones were met with excitement, too.
Then you move into years with more new situations as your child begins to learn more about the world outside of your arms. They find people, places, and things they like as well as those they dislike. They may not like the rules you put into place as you figure out what is best for your family. The light bulb finally comes on brightly as you look back and realize your mom wasn't trying to be mean; she was trying to keep you healthy, safe, and smart.
You may reach a point when it seems like you're always making something or doing something or driving your child somewhere. I remember thinking how proud I was that my son was discovering and enjoying and performing and exploring. Then I remembered that my mom spent a lot of time in the car with me, picking up this, dropping me off there. I thanked her specifically for that (only 30+ years after the fact).
Last year we hit the milestone of graduation. I didn't cry, really, but I could feel the love and pride running through my body as he walked across the stage in his cap and gown. When I was 18, it never really occurred to me to consider what my mom was feeling at the time. Now, I knew.
We've made it through my son's first year of college away from home. That's an adjustment for me. He's not here every night when I go to bed. I'm not asking him to take care of his laundry or calling him downstairs for supper. He's doing his own thing and living a responsible life. I'm here when he needs me, of course, but his daily life is his life, not mine. Ah, yes...my mom wasn't being nosy about my college friends. She just wanted to keep in touch because she loves me.
As he moves further into adulthood, my role as mother will continue to change. If I've got questions on how to deal with those adjustments, I'll think back to myself at that age...and I'll ask my mom to remind me what worked for her.
Every mother is different, just like every child is different. We have our strengths and our weaknesses. But just like life in general, motherhood isn't about the destination. It's not about getting through 18 years and then putting away the "mom" hat. It's about the journey. Your child changes and grows but will always be your child. And even though I'm no longer rocking my "little one" to sleep, I will still always be his mom...at all stages of our lives.
I'll love you forever.
I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be.
Happy Mother's Day from one mother to another!
Mother's Day 2013
Mother's Day 2012
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