Transition Time

It's almost time for The Boy to come home from college for the summer.

It was about nine months ago we dropped him off to begin a new chapter in his life. In our life, too, actually. (Hmm...nine months. Just like another "waiting period" when it comes to a life transition involving your child.) You can read my thoughts on the first day of school here.

I got used to not having him around, not talking to him every day. I'm grateful for the technology that has been developed since the days when I was in college. Thanks to text messages and Facebook, I surely had more regular contact with him than I did with my own parents at the time. (I was never very good at writing letters.) 

I had to remind myself sometimes that this change in daily life was more about him than it was about me. He's supposed to leave the nest at some point, and it was my job to help prepare him for that. I spent a number of years in my adult life without a child around. He, like most children, always had us around. This was the natural progression into a new level of independence.

It was time for me to learn a new parenting method, a more delicate balance of hands-off and support. Naturally I'm interested in what he's doing, but it's not as much of my business as it used to be. I don't want to hover too much (which I may have been guilty of when he was young more than I'd care to admit), but I need to make sure he knows I'm always here when he wants to share anything.

It happened numerous times before as he was growing up, but again this year I gained an entirely new appreciation for my own parents. Now I understand better why they'd give me a good-natured hard time if I didn't call (back when we all had landlines and college kids made collect calls) very often or send a birthday card. They weren't nagging. They just loved me...and missed me.

Now we all need to get used to living together again for a few months between semesters. This is still his home...he's not a "houseguest." But he's also an adult who managed just fine without me trying to tell him what to do several times a day. I'll be trying to recall my first summer back home. If I can look at things from the perspective of the returning student and not solely as the mother, we can certainly keep this a smooth transition for the most part.

But I'm still really glad he'll be "back home" for awhile.