Gee. I didn't realize it had been so long since my last post (not that anyone's counting).
Here's what's been on my mind.
I admit it. I check my social media accounts multiple times almost every day. Oh, I talk to real people in real life, too, but I like using a variety of avenues to check in with people I know or with whom I'm acquainted.
Lately, though, I find myself scrolling through my feed faster than I used to, especially on Facebook. I enjoy pictures of the kids, updates on family matters, and recaps of the adventures of friends. I block most game requests (I play some, I just don't need to see your every new achievement), zip past a lot of recipes, and generally tune out memes that are over-shared, especially those with spelling, punctuation, or grammar errors. I read the headlines or get the gist of the post but don't often feel as if I need to click through to read the rest of the story.
What I'm seeing more often is people who seem to be trying to "start something."
I like these online communities as a way of connecting with people with whom I have something in common. Shared interests, common history, relatives, friends...the usual. Merriam-Webster offers this in its definition of "social": relating to...activities in which people spend time...doing enjoyable things with each other; happy to be with people. Reading, typing, sharing, "liking," and tagging are all ways of socializing, in my opinion. Granted, these are all poor imitations of literally talking to one another, sharing a laugh, or giving a hug. But they are still a type of interaction.
That's how I view social media: tools to facilitate interaction between people. If we again check Merriam-Webster, we see this definition for "social media": forms of electronic communication...through which users create online communities to share information, ideas, personal messages, and other content... I wrote some time ago about what I enjoy about social media. Use it however you wish, and you can get from it what you put into it.
That's why it bothers me so when I see people who seem to be using these forums to put MORE space between people. They snark and they complain. They say things as if they know it will push someone's buttons. It's as if they are looking for a fight. Go ahead and disagree with my post: I dare you! Please, offer a different opinion in the comments so I can prove my superiority! When I see a post with which I might disagree, I simply keep scrolling. I can be friends with a person, even if it's "just" Facebook friends, and not like everything they say. I believe mature relationships take into account all facets of a person, not just an opinion on an issue or two. While typing out a comment may give you an opportunity to more clearly organize your thoughts, it doesn't provide the same tone, timing, or non-verbal cues of an actual face-to-face conversation, a true dialogue. And, I simply will not take the bait.
As if stirring the proverbial pot weren't distressing enough, there can be so much general negativity! Their position is stupid. That belief is wrong. Rather than emphasizing why an opinion is smart, good, and right, so much time is spent on saying why the "other" guy is dumb, evil, and just plain wrong. You aren't going to convince anyone of anything by seeming to scold them. Show me the positive points of your position (ooh, that alliteration was accidental!) and I'll listen. Telling me that because you are right everyone else is obviously wrong will just make me tune you out.
The next big election season has already started (too soon for my taste). I dread it even more than seeing Christmas displays in stores in September. (Haven't seen them yet, but I bet it won't be long.) As hectic as the holidays are, at least you can often find good will, good behavior, and good times. Elections, on the other hand, tend to bring out the worst in people. Bad moods, bad manners, and bad attitudes. Tell me why I should support you, not why I would be foolish to support the other guy. Mudslinging, even when disguised as merely presenting "facts," will make me listen to you less, not more.
Believe what you want, support what you choose, think what you wish, and feel what you feel. But if you want me to think about your post rather than ignore it, give me positive messages to draw me in. Hostility and negativity will just push me away...and that's not being very social.
Here's what's been on my mind.
I admit it. I check my social media accounts multiple times almost every day. Oh, I talk to real people in real life, too, but I like using a variety of avenues to check in with people I know or with whom I'm acquainted.
Lately, though, I find myself scrolling through my feed faster than I used to, especially on Facebook. I enjoy pictures of the kids, updates on family matters, and recaps of the adventures of friends. I block most game requests (I play some, I just don't need to see your every new achievement), zip past a lot of recipes, and generally tune out memes that are over-shared, especially those with spelling, punctuation, or grammar errors. I read the headlines or get the gist of the post but don't often feel as if I need to click through to read the rest of the story.
What I'm seeing more often is people who seem to be trying to "start something."
I like these online communities as a way of connecting with people with whom I have something in common. Shared interests, common history, relatives, friends...the usual. Merriam-Webster offers this in its definition of "social": relating to...activities in which people spend time...doing enjoyable things with each other; happy to be with people. Reading, typing, sharing, "liking," and tagging are all ways of socializing, in my opinion. Granted, these are all poor imitations of literally talking to one another, sharing a laugh, or giving a hug. But they are still a type of interaction.
That's how I view social media: tools to facilitate interaction between people. If we again check Merriam-Webster, we see this definition for "social media": forms of electronic communication...through which users create online communities to share information, ideas, personal messages, and other content... I wrote some time ago about what I enjoy about social media. Use it however you wish, and you can get from it what you put into it.
That's why it bothers me so when I see people who seem to be using these forums to put MORE space between people. They snark and they complain. They say things as if they know it will push someone's buttons. It's as if they are looking for a fight. Go ahead and disagree with my post: I dare you! Please, offer a different opinion in the comments so I can prove my superiority! When I see a post with which I might disagree, I simply keep scrolling. I can be friends with a person, even if it's "just" Facebook friends, and not like everything they say. I believe mature relationships take into account all facets of a person, not just an opinion on an issue or two. While typing out a comment may give you an opportunity to more clearly organize your thoughts, it doesn't provide the same tone, timing, or non-verbal cues of an actual face-to-face conversation, a true dialogue. And, I simply will not take the bait.
As if stirring the proverbial pot weren't distressing enough, there can be so much general negativity! Their position is stupid. That belief is wrong. Rather than emphasizing why an opinion is smart, good, and right, so much time is spent on saying why the "other" guy is dumb, evil, and just plain wrong. You aren't going to convince anyone of anything by seeming to scold them. Show me the positive points of your position (ooh, that alliteration was accidental!) and I'll listen. Telling me that because you are right everyone else is obviously wrong will just make me tune you out.
The next big election season has already started (too soon for my taste). I dread it even more than seeing Christmas displays in stores in September. (Haven't seen them yet, but I bet it won't be long.) As hectic as the holidays are, at least you can often find good will, good behavior, and good times. Elections, on the other hand, tend to bring out the worst in people. Bad moods, bad manners, and bad attitudes. Tell me why I should support you, not why I would be foolish to support the other guy. Mudslinging, even when disguised as merely presenting "facts," will make me listen to you less, not more.
Believe what you want, support what you choose, think what you wish, and feel what you feel. But if you want me to think about your post rather than ignore it, give me positive messages to draw me in. Hostility and negativity will just push me away...and that's not being very social.
