When I heard last week that an old friend had passed away, I felt I needed to write something to honor him. The more I thought about it, however, I realized I wasn't in a position to do so. I don't really know anything about the man he had become.
Jamie isn't the first person lost from my high-school graduating class. Some died way too soon, before our five-year reunion. I know of two who passed within the past few years. And there are likely some about whom I've heard nothing. It seems much to soon to have to think about so many in only the past tense. But I suppose we've reached an age where it will occur more often. My mom will let me know when she sees an obituary in the hometown newspaper for someone I might have known. In this case, another classmate posted the news on Facebook. Social media is great for sharing cute pictures and family updates, but, for better or worse, it also allows bad news to spread more quickly.
I hate to admit that I can't even truly refer to this person as a friend. Sure, we knew each other in school. We didn't really travel in the same circles but certainly could call each other by name and carry on a conversation with each other, at least as much as teenagers do. One thing I remember about him is that he was so nice. He didn't seem too hung up on the typical cliques and which people you should or should not associate with. You could still be friendly with people who weren't in your "group." Based on the other online condolences I read, a lot of other people remember his kindness, as well.
But as is often the case after graduation, many classmates leave town and lose touch with all but their closest friends (and sometimes even those). Everyone starts their new adult life with new people. Sometimes I wonder, "Whatever happened to...?" Especially before and after a class reunion, I'll pull out the yearbook and see who I'm missing. I've done a few casual searches on Facebook. Privacy settings make it difficult at times to see if I've found the right person, though. And it's not really my style to send random friend requests to people I haven't talked to in 30 years.
In this case, I'm sorry I didn't try to reconnect. He was worth knowing in high school, and I bet he would have been worth knowing now.
Maybe this is the time to start reaching out more. I wouldn't mind finding out what a few old classmates and colleagues have been up to over the years. Between Facebook, LinkedIn, and Google, you can find an email address without too much work. You can drop someone a note, or maybe send someone an actual card in the good old-fashioned mail, just to say hello. What's the worst that can happen? Someone may ignore you (or they may never check for "Other" Facebook messages that are sent by those who aren't your "friends"). But you'll still have the memory of that one math test that you both aced or the customers that made the job fun.
Some friendships can only be maintained when you're sharing your days together in school or at a job. But sometimes, they can become renewed when you just take a moment to remember why you connected in the first place. Don't miss your chance and be left with only an obituary to click on.
