Daddy-isms

As I'm mentally preparing for my father's funeral, I've been trying to think of his "catchphrases." Things that other people might not "get," but the family knows what they mean. I'm sure I'll think of more, but these are a few lines or events or ideas that will stick with me.

• Stay with the group! Started when we went on school trips, then it became part of the standard good-bye.
• Don't breathe! When we were kids and it was bitter cold out, he was just trying to keep us healthy as we dashed from the house to the car. It made sense at the time!
• Depending on the weather... Travel plans were always tentative until we knew what the weather was on that day. The Weather Channel was checked often.
• Stove off? Candles and incense out? Before we left the house to go anywhere, there was always the final safety check. It's stuck with me. I check the stove every day...and I hardly use it!
• Watch for deer! It's Wisconsin. Always a good idea to stay alert, especially when travelling north or at dusk.
• Yeah, OK. My dad was never much of a "phone" guy. He might answer, but it was understood that Mom would be getting on the extension shortly. But when the conversation with him was over, he would never say "good-bye." It was always an "OK" or something.

So I guess I'll simply say to him, "OK, Daddy."

Sad Part of Being a Grown-Up

You know how when you're a kid you can't wait to grow up? Then you can stay up late, get a driver's license, have a cocktail? Your parents try to tell you that adulthood isn't all it's cracked up to be. There are more chores and responsibilities, roommates in college, and coworkers you can't stand.

But one of the hardest parts, I think, of growing up is dealing with mortality. My father passed away this morning. Even when you know it's coming, it still hits you like a ton of bricks. His health has been declining over the last year, so it's not completely unexpected. And I know he was...if not "in pain" certainly in "discomfort." But when we saw him at Thanksgiving, it didn't seem that this time would come so soon.

I'm thankful my brother lives in our hometown, because he can be with our mother as she begins to make "arrangements." She's got girlfriends who have been through it and will be there to support her. We live close enough that we'll be able to join the family in a day or two (barring another blizzard). Christmas will not be the same this year, to be sure.

My grandparents have all passed away, and I have friends who have lost their parents. I sort of know what's coming, what to expect. This is all a part of life, but I don't have to like it. Times like these I kind of wish I wasn't a grown-up.