What You Want

"They" say that you can't always get what you want. Ain't that the truth! But you will almost never get what you want if you don't ask for it.

Knowing that you need to ask is only one step. First, you need to know what it is that you want. Could be something as simple as a dinner choice or a birthday gift. But there are the big wants, too, like what you want out of life. And of course, everything in between. The little things I want change from day to day, sometimes hour to hour. And my big goals in life have changed numerous times since I was a child. Sure, I still want the generic "happiness." It's how to define happiness that seems to be the question. That's a personal journey that everyone needs to take for themself.

So let's say you know what you want. And you know you have to ask for it. The next questions is whom to ask. (I think "whom" is correct. Forgive me if not.) When you're a child, you ask your parents for what you want. As you get older you ask your friends, your spouse, your boss, God. I'm learning that I probably need to ask myself for a lot of things, too. If I want something, I need to make it happen. Other folks can help, but I must take responsibility for my own happiness.

I think the hardest thing has been giving myself permission to ask. Perhaps it's a "woman" thing, or perhaps it's just me. But we're so used to giving to other people, and so hope that those closest to us already magically know what we want. But you know what? It's OK to ask. It doesn't make you weak. It doesn't make you selfish. If anything, it shows you're not afraid to open up to people around you. It shows that you understand yourself well enough to know what you want. I've found that my circle of girlfriends is great for this. Number one, I don't have to be afraid to ask them anything! And I know they'll tell me their honest opinion (even if sometimes it's brutally honest, bordering on evil.) And by talking it through, we can more easily identify what we want and from whom.

I still don't know what I want as a career. I do know that I want to blog, but I'm still trying to figure out in which direction to take it. So I ask you this...I'm ready to hear feedback. Thanks to those of you who've already obliged. But if you're just randomly stopping by, I'll take some comments, even anonymously. Or you can e-mail me from my profile page. Feel free to share!